The Justice of the Magus is Death
by Casey Sheldon
As the holiday blues fully sink in
I quest all the more for alchemical gold
One vein at a time, and all the while
My happy running blood quenches
The thirst of the masses
The masses of confusion and chaos
The thoughts that kill me little by little
Et tu, I say, and there are no friends
Left to hear me, gone, gone away
Life like a river has swept them away
And all is a battlefield again as it
Has been for what seems eternity
But is really only seconds
My emotions are but one drop
In an infinite bucket, and no one
Knows the difference anymore
We’re so intertwined and broken up
That nothing is left of self, just fragments
That once a whole person may have been
Reintegrate, integrity is vital
And yet I feel plastic and hollow
A smashed up vessel that no one needs
Drowning in all of the demands I put upon myself
And all the guilt I feel for what I didn’t do
And the fear I feel of what is to come
So I fight, not caring if I win or lose, or live or die
Just to fight. To Stand, and Be True.
French Fries
Eating cold, near-stale french fries gets my noodle rememberizing for some reason. Reminds me of ex-girlfriends. You know the damn things tasted better when the relationship was hot, but when you’re dealing with the suppressed emotions that have stayed under for so long, the whole process seems cold and stale. As a witch’s titty. Puts me in the mood to debate; for no other reason than to remember that the post-fight make-ups were the best part of my old relationships. Now I’m lazy, I guess, because I try not to shit where I eat. After all, that leads to eventually eating shit, right? So some Luciferrians came to pick a fight, and I took the bait. Yea, and verily I say unto thee, beware the sons of Barabbas. The murderers of the True King are still at large, after all. In any case, I think I’ll name my puppy Morry, again. hehe…
Morry… again
My girlfriend got me a puppy as an early Christmas gift. I really like dogs; more often than not, I like their personalities more than I like most humans I know. I’m kinda worried though. Living out here in the boondocks, it’s really easy for dogs to get run over. She still isn’t used to not having her brothers and sisters around, and every time I come back in the house she cries. It really SUX. If I had my own place, she’d sleep inside with me; maybe a cozy little box-n-blankets thingy next to a heater vent. I’m glad to have her though. I hope she adjusts okay. In any case, I think I’ll name her Morry.
Blogniversary
One more thing… My blog and I will have been together for a year on the 24th, so
HAPPY BLOGNIVERSARY
Sonorous
Sonorous
by Casey Sheldon
copyright 10/25/2001
The rushing roar that floods my heart, the familiar sounds
of my soul’s ears return my sanity, no worse for wear, my detachable
awareness of what I held most dear, as I remember, the magic
returns, so passionately prescient & magnificent in its
manifestation, I revel, romp, & ravage as I speak the
triumph in its majesty & strength. O! that fear might
have no place in my heart, that I might live excellently
& compassionately in humble joys & exacting serenities,
M A Y I T E V E R B E S O !
An Auto-Masochistic Exercise: In Plastic
Took the kids to that McDonald’s Playplace thingy today… left me with a headache that roughed me up and then got bored and left. I’m considering looking into publication, but I’m not sure that my stuff is all that good. I mean that it is one thing for family/girlfriend/friends to tell you that, and another to really get out there and do the get-published-hustle. Ah well, what’s the worst that can happen? Rejection notices? I’ve got those already, so what’s to lose? Nothing… Except my ego.
Anyway, I’ve finished Fellowship of the Rings in my Pre-Movie Reading, and have decided to go ahead and read Two Towers. I never thought I’d get over Gandalf dying, the first time I heard the story on tape as a kid. I still feel it deep in my gut, like a Taco Bell burrito that just won’t quit. Reading the trilogy again makes me feel all nostalgiac, though, and in a way is my adult version of running around and climbing all over the McDonald’s Playplace. I know all of them, like the neighbors from down the street who sometimes come and eat dinner at your house. When Gloin introduces Gimli, at the Council of Elrond, it’s like meeting the new kid in town, and finding out your dad and his dad are friends. Every time it mentions elves, I get a warm fuzzy feeling inside, probably like some women do when reading their favorite romance novels. When the Fellowship breaks, though, I suffer the loss with them. When Boromir attacks Frodo, it reminds me of times I’ve experienced when the tension rose like an overflowing bathtub, until finally something snapped, and the situation turned into chaos and insanity. When Boromir dies, I am reminded that we must always strive to see from the perspective of the victim and the perpetrator, lest we lose our rational perspective. Thanks, Tollers, you’ve written a jolly good yarn.
Darth Elipsis
I’m sitting here with the kids, watching Episode I, while Qui-Gon Jinn explains the Midichlorians. God I’m tired… I guess 4-6 hours of Kabbalistic analysis then only 4 hours of sleep will do that. My poor girlfriend has to go to that darn traffic school. Oh well. Qui-Gon tells Obi-Wan that he’ll be a great Jedi Knight. I’m running on empty, and posting this blog is taking up all my excess nervosity… I like that word, made-up as it may be… By now people are thinking, “What’s with all the elipsisses?” elipsisses??? what the heck are elipsesses though, I would ask those people, because using a word that sounds pretty made-up may be worse than using one that is actually made up. Darth Sidious says, “Let them make the first move.”
