Resh again…
Resh is said to be an enlarged Yod. In looking at the shape of it, it seems that the Resh is an enlarged Yod, but with a single spiral arm reaching out from the initial Yod form. Throughout I’m going to work with a couple of different associations, including Resh as the Ego, both before and after the ‘regeneration’ process described by the alchemists (or for an example of someone who really had gone through this process, look up some history on the Ari), as well as Resh as an extension of the basic energetic formation described in my Yod summary.
I guess the first association that leaps to my mind is the spiral arms of our own galaxy. By analogy, I guess we could say that the ego isn’t one thing per se, but rather is the aggregate of many states, layered one on top of the other. Logan has spoken of a process of Remembering and Forgetting in the past, and I believe that these processes are the means by which the Neshamah regulates the growth of the Ruach. When referring to interactions between these two parts of the soul, I tend to go with the analogy that says that the Neshamah is attempting to teach the Ruach how to evolve into a Neshamah, while a Ruach is helping the Nephesh to learn how to evolve into a Ruach. This is perhaps a simplistic view of the subject, and could probably be seen as absolutely incorrect from the point of view of someone who had the ability to percieve all the levels involved, but it is a useful map from my perspective, so I’ll stick with it for the purposes of this discussion.
I would also consider the shape metaphor to extend to the idea of a pseudopod. According to this site: “The Naked Amoebae.
“These are the classic amoebae of the general biology textbooks, and part of the intention of this collection of photomicrographs and observations is to dispel the notion that an amoeba is a shapeless blob of animated jelly, randomly engulfing objects it happens upon en route to nowhere in particular.
“It has been known for a long time that the general direction of an amoeba’s movement is a chemotaxic response to concentration gradients of nutrient (and other) substances in the surrounding water, and that most amoebae maintain a fairly definite shape, with a recognizable front and back end, during all of their activities.
They move by extending pseudopodia (Latin, false feet) which are able to absorb food particles and which increase and decrease in size by a process called protoplasmic streaming, which term describes it well. Examination of individual amoebae over a period of time shows a high level of discrimination in regard to food particles taken in. Some are immediately absorbed, and others, apparently similar, are rejected or avoided.”
I think this behavior applies to the basic idea of the ego, as a spiritual evolutionary trait that allows for survival instinct by way of the Ruach’s identification with the Nephesh. When it says, “the general direction of an amoeba’s movement is a chemotaxic response to concentration gradients of nutrient (and other) substances in the surrounding water,” I would guess that to parallel roughly the inborn human drive to seek for meaning. When it speaks of the amoeba’s discrimination towards different food particles, I’d think of that as the weighing of ideas that the ego does, in comparison to it’s current beliefs (which might be compared to it’s current nutrient concentration).
From this standpoint, I might surmise that the process of weighing beliefs as true or false is neither good or bad. It is merely more or less useful, depending on the individual. To someone who needs a wide variety of the paradigm alterations contained in the overall heading of Western Mystery Tradition, they may all be useful. To others, a more specific content may be required for further growth. This is one of many middle ways between belief and experience, interpretation and observation, faith and works.
I can also see Resh as detailing a process similar to the lava flow and the lahar. I see the ego before regeneration as the lahar, a flood of water, rocks and debris, in which the water itself might be seen as similar to the will of a person.
“As a lahar rushes downstream from a volcano, its size, speed, and the amount of water and rock debris it carries constantly change. The beginning surge of water and rock debris often erodes rocks and vegetation from the side of a volcano and along the river valley it enters. This initial flow can also incorporate water from melting snow and ice (if present) and the river it overruns. By eroding rock debris and incorporating additional water, lahars can easily grow to more than 10 times their initial size. But as a lahar moves farther away from a volcano, it will eventually begin to lose its heavy load of sediment and decrease in size.”
Just so, those fully possessed of self-will can move mountains for a time, and often circumstances will appear to augment their ability to continue as they will. The debris carried by the lahar alter the substance of the water, just as the self-willed are often possessed by whatever belief currently appeals to them (the dual minded man, tossed about by every wind and wave of doctrine, so to speak). In fact, the ego will attach to anything that might redirect it, and use that circumstance to justify/rationalize its current course, even if the most logical conclusion that could be drawn from the circumstance would be to oppose that course. Of course speaking of logical conclusions is very black and white, but often enough the answer lies before us, but like mimes, we act out the illusion that there is a barrier preventing us from accessing that answer. However, as time goes on, this flood fades, and self-will gives way. This in no way indicates that self-will is positive or negative, good or bad, but merely that often enough it is a driving force in the middle stages of human life, and that somewhere towards the end of life it begins to fade (perhaps a similar idea underlies the often hyped prohibition on Kabbalah to those under 40 years of age).
The lava flow is a different subject. I see this as the regenerated mind joined to it’s source. The lava flow is composed of molten rock, which behaves differently based on its composition, the slope of the ground outside the vent, the medium through which it moves, and the amount of pressure behind it. Whew! That’s a mouthful. First of all, I picked lava because it is the essence of fire and earth combined – which I relate to the Shekinah – heaven on earth. That is the natural state of one who has (for lack of a better term) renewed their mind. I would say though that everyone who has walked the path of regeneration has at sometime learned from an outside source, whether that is nature, another living creature, or the juxtaposition of symbolic objects. This is the composition of the lava, as lava is molten rock. The slope is mental stability. This is a strange thing to say, but the mentally stable are at somewhat of a disadvantage in the some senses. The more flat the slope, the less movement is possible. In this metaphor I am comparing distance travelled from the vent to spiritual progress. However there is a risk incorporated in this benefit, which can be described best by the idea of the pyroclastic flow. Anyway, if we look to the medium/method by which the lava moves, we can examine the examples given on the site, namely tubes, channels, and sheets. These are what I see as the three methods through which energy moves, or influx is directed. Channels as I see them, are a set of boundaries between which the influx is free to move as it will. An example of this sort of movement might be the archetypes of Jungian psychology or the Gods as icons within the collective consciousness. Egregores and servitors are also examples of this sort of movement, in which the influx is channeled into a range of movement, which allows for a sort of diversity without too much dispersion. By dispersion, I mean the sense of hopelessness that can occur in the regenerated man when he realizes the truth in the statement, “Everything is true, all is permitted.” A channel allows for a range of motion, and at the same time allows for those who do not always want to ‘color inside the lines’.
A tube might best be represented by the letters themselves, or by shamanic journeying experiences, in which a defined property of spirit and/or mind is explored extensively by way of manifestation and observation. A sheet I would compare to the Zen experience of satori (although I cannot say with all certainty, as I do not know that I have experienced such), wherein maximum dispersion is actually sought after, so that a further state of transcendance can be achieved. This state is not accurately described by this current metaphor/map, so I will leave it to the imagination of the reader.
Resh is also said to be related to pride, as the ego amasses experience and thereby creates a shell/qlippah and thereby defines itself. However the ‘shape’ defined by this amassed experience is not the ego itself, but merely its current configuration. IMO, it is this shape that must be relinquished, so that the fluidity of the Ruach can be maintained. This is in part, why I eschew all manner of Ego-Death doctrines, save those that posit the ego as a tool, and not inherently negative in and of itself. I think that pride itself is a mimicking of the desire to give, because when one has nothing, one can give nothing. So in mimicking its creator, the ego seeks to amass energy, so that it may distribute it, and thereby fulfill its function. Whether or not this behavior is correct is up to the individual to decide.
Raindrops on roses
http://www.paghat.com/roseofsharonmyths.html
It is appealing to assume some connection between a Goddess known as the Rose of Sharon, & the Hyksos city of Sharuhen, “The Dwelling Place of Grace (or Pleasure),” a name that could well imply an orgiastic fertility cult. This city was in the Southwest corner of Canaan [Josh 19:6], where the Goddess Anath was paramount. This city was also called Shaaraim [Josh 15:32; 1 Sm 17:52; 1 Chr 4:31], meaning “Two Gates” or “The Double-cleft,” alluding to the vagina of the Goddess as a portal into Life (Sharon the Rose), & a portal into Death (Shoshan, the Lily of the Valley). Like Ishtar-Inanna, she is the All Mother with rule of Life & of Death, of the Heights & of the Depths.
***Death and Life, Ivory and Horn… these are a few of my favorite things.
Strange days
Dream of my father’s office (the ranch office that he never goes to anymore). Dreamed that there was a medicine cabinet, and in it, there was a receipt or a paystub of some sort that would reveal Brad’s part in the situation. It was illuminating, but I had to make excuses and fight to get everyone to drop their paranoia for long enough to find out what was going on. Once I found it, the next step was to find something I had left in Nick’s garage or maybe to talk to him. I lived just around the block in some almost caricatured 1950′s suburbanite house, but I never could figure out the street configuration well enough to get to where he was. Finally, I hopped onboard a trolley, while the street workers danced, like a Fred Astaire number. I knew I shouldn’t be on the trolley, but it was the only way to get there in time. No one said anything anyway so the fear proved unfounded. At that moment I saw a sign that said “Thomas Keroooo Ramp,” and behind it was a ramp up to another street level (about 10 feet higher than the street I was on). I jumped off, and ran up the hill and towards the house. I got there and he was mopping the garage. He had just white-washed the whole place, and there was a white car in the garage also. He was surprised to see me, but I still didn’t want his parents to know I was there, so I left shortly, then woke up.
(200)4 ’til midnight…
Roll me on your frozen fields
Break my bones to watch them heal
Drown me in your thirsty veins
Where I watch and I wait
And pray for the rain
Curl like smoke
And breathe again
Down your throat
Inside your ribs
And through your spine
And every nerve
Where I watch and I wait
And you too the herd
And if you don’t feel me now
Sun will rise
Still I’m in grief of the coming night
In the last remaining light
Seven moons and seven suns
Heaven waits for those who run
Down your winter and underneath your waves
When you watch and you wait
And pray for the day
And if you don’t believe the sun will rise
Stand alone and greet the coming night
And in the last remaining light
Light
Light
Light
- The Last Remaining Light by Audioslave
Dryness and the Primordial Voice
Well, she’s off to work, and I’m wishing her the best of luck.
Last night I went through another set of memories. Breathed in. Released the self-importance from them. I’ve found all sorts of areas where I’m normally resentful or angry which have been undercut by this practice. Not enough that they just disappear, but enough that I can deal with them. Tzaddi style… makin’ life liveable.
Afterwards I felt dry… bone dry. I heard the Kadmon speak (I have not forgotten the face of my father). First things first. I have to rectify those errors made as I was working up to this point. I’ve ignored them in the face of further progress. But here I am three stages later, and I still haven’t made time to reconcile with friends. The time for punishing people, and thereby cutting off my nose to spite my face is over. What is a grudge anyway? Can it run a game or be a friend? Can it talk to you on the phone when you’re ready to drive off a cliff? Can it tell you you’re being stupid when you really are? No.
I’m curious to see what my birthday and it’s passing will bring (courtesy of StarIQ.com):
Full Moon in Leo
Friday, February 6, 12:47 am PST
Life feels like a weird reality show when the dramatic Leo Moon opposes the Sun and Neptune in Aquarius. The nebulous one’s close proximity to the solar orb favors fantasy, forgiveness, compassion and flim-flam. Discerning true emotions in the midst of one’s own opera requires a sharp ear and a flexible mind. There’s a crying need for creativity as old models of relationship bog down. Continuing the process of inventing your life, rather than following an old blueprint, can feel strange, but is your contribution to liberating the potential of the human spirit.
Mercury in Aquarius
Friday, February 6, 8:20 pm PST
This smart planet’s entering a very smart sign, which is great for generating brilliant ideas and inventive new theories. However, with the mind’s elevation to higher frequencies of awareness, the heart can grow cold with distance. Something personal can be lost when life is studied, rather than lived. Balancing brain activity with heartfelt joy and innocence is necessary for intellect to produce wisdom.
Venus in Aries
Sunday, February 8, 8:21 am PST
(My b-day!)
Venus, planet of love and pleasure, in Aries, sign of the new, will risk safety for stimulation. The need for novelty makes comfortable old places and people less, um, comfortable. Joy comes from taking the initiative and restarting relationships from scratch. History is dead; all that counts is what’s happening now. Put more spice in your social life.
Cryptography
Evola speaks of finding a purpose… to keep the abyss out. A drop of sweetwater on my tongue… the Word, an answer. Would this rose smell differently if someone else were smelling it? So I’ve named the file. Now I have to start programming. Fun, fun, fun.
ThANH…
My kids would love it!
The Olympics and Dragonball’s Son Goku???
Mexican Antibiotics
Dreamed of a combination store and soup kitchen (maybe something like the coffee shop in Sunshine, but with elements of a homeless shelter added in). It was run by three men, each wearing the mask of a different President. Ford, Carter, and Reagan (I think Nixon dropped in on occasion…) all ran the place together. They served soup to the homeless, made sales at the registers and were very kind (typo: king[ly?]) to the employees. I enjoyed working there; I was just a waiter, but I liked my job. Soon I saw the Secret Service show up and start harrassing the three owners. They were trying to tell them they had to leave because of some sort of dangerous event that was coming up. The owners wouldn’t leave. They said they would stay and that the Secret Service men had to stay with them and help protect the employees, too. They blocked the doors and about half of them went outside. Sounds of bombs, or maybe just mass destruction… it’s hard to remember… began shortly. I started weeping when I heard them dying to save my life… I tried to run outside, but the Secret Service guys wouldn’t let me.
==
When I was 8 or 9 probably, I went to Hartland Christian Camp (my parents couldn’t stomach the idea of me going to a camp that might teach me something besides Creation science, like Scicon) and Ronald Reagan’s grandson happened to be going to the same camp. While I never got to see him (I really wasn’t all that interested in him… I kinda figured it might be interesting to meet Reagan, but not his grandson), I think I spent 75% of the week’s waking hours talking to the Secret Service guys. Even now, when I run the Men in Black in a Mage game, I still picture those Secret Service guys.
Onmyoji
I guess after reading some of the reviews on the web of this film, many don’t like it (so what else is new, eh?)… but I really thought it was about as perfect a movie as I’ve ever seen. It fits my aesthetic, I guess… (Note: Toho Co. Ltd. was also responsible for Spirited Away…)
In any case, if you like Japanese magickal theory, and want to see some basic principles put into a really fun story with some very enjoyable characters, you could do much worse than Onmyoji.
The extensive usage of mantra and vibratory voice techniques are especially fun, although the concept of linking the Big Dipper with the life-transference technique (Christa McAuliff anyone?) was truly intriguing. Also I enjoyed watching the Harmony of the Four Gods in a background role, yet shaping the destinies of the individual characters… Seimei was definitely a Dragon… I thought of Aone as the Crane/Phoenix (maybe relates back to the alchemical Pelican too…) while Sawara as a person might have been the Tiger, even though as a plot device he was that which was Sealed in the Harmony. The other alternative for the Tiger place might be the Butterfly Girl or the Mikado’s wife/concubine (I have an affinity with women who have butterfly tattoos so that may be a biased assumption…) but I don’t think it was the concubine as she didn’t survive long enough. But the Good Man was a Turtle… “See the TURTLE of enormous girth-on his shell he holds the earth – if you want to run and play, come along the BEAM today.”/”The righteous man is the foundation of the world” I think of the turtle like the Good Man Fletcher, usually…
Resh Math
Thanks to William Gray (The Tree of Evil), the movies Fallen & Jacob’s Ladder, and a few odd circumstances involving Resh, I’m starting to understand this Dweller thing. Simplistically I could say that it is the worst aspects of myself projected outwards… a black ash exuded from the material. Fighting it seems to cause intensification, which would make sense if acting against this ‘evil’ could be seen as a stoking of the fire within the base, causing more ash to fly outwards.
“Eckhart saw Hell too. He said: The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won’t let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they’re not punishing you, he said. They’re freeing your soul. So, if you’re frightened of dying and… and you’re holding on, you’ll see devils tearing your life away. But if you’ve made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.”
Louis, Jacob’s Ladder
“To die, to sleep;
To sleep perchance to dream, ay, there’s the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause…”
Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act III
==
Resh is the back of the head. The shape is suggestive of touching the top of the head and tracing it down the curve of the skull to the back of the neck. Ideas of much import are suggested by the association with this physical region, but I shall leave such connections to be made by those more knowledgeable in those fields. Null space at the point of no vision – the blind spot of all blind spots. Kaplan directs one to meditate on that spot for Qabalistic no-mind meditation. Resh is the meeting point of the aethyrnet and the material.
“Outward objects make pictures of themselves on the retina of the eye: but no living subject was ever conscious of any picture on the retina of his own eye; and no living man ever passed, by induction from the conscious perception of such a picture in his own eye to the affirmation of the outward existence that produced it. If there is no direct communication between the soul and the world, between spirit and matter, perception is impossible. If the soul cannot directly percieve an outward object because the soul is spiritual and the object is material, then the soul cannot (as, in fact, it does not) percieve the picture on the retina of the eye; for that also is material. Neither can the soul percieve a picture of the picture; for that, in like manner, is afflicted with the taint of matter. The same may be said of the picture of a picture of the picture; and so on to infinity. There is no chasm to be bridged. Perception is direct; and the supposed chasm, if any may be supposed, is a mere nothing gratuitously created by the imagination.”
William B. Greene, Man the Form of All Things, The Blazing Star and the Jewish Kabbalah
Define this variable as the nature of Daleth, a right angle – and the meeting point as the less-precise-and-yet-closer-to-actual-experience Resh…
Let’s do some math here:
Join an Aleph to the Resh and you have A V(av) R -> [AYN SVPh] AVR – [Limitless] Light. If they must be separated, then reverse the process R V A, then divide (Cheth) -> RVCh – Breath/Spirit. Aleph is that pause during which one prepares to make a sound, without yet making the sound itself… that delayed response… a hesitation before the breathing-in cycle of Tzimtzum… that projection of the properties of self onto other. If we take a geometric-hybrid model, wherein the Vav is a Line, and the Dalet a plane (turn the Vav on it’s side and find a plane), perhaps we could see the two Yods in Aleph as a two points, connected by a line AB which when passing through plane CDEF (if a line lying upon that plane was drawn, intersecting AB, let’s call it line CE) is perpendicular to CE (or DF, etc…). [Read: Through the Looking Glass]. However, these lines are notably curved, hence Resh (perhaps in proportion to the conductivity of the medium)… the desire for union between subject and object when as it leaves the subject and bridges the gap… identifying with a character on TV, acting, roleplaying. The nullification of self is almost never a right angle… never perfect, but curved. So how does the Dweller fit in?
The Dweller may be an aggregate of the effect of the ever present error factor. As the ash flies, we push the curve ever closer to the zero point/axis, but it never quite gets there. The Dweller of the Threshold where the threshold is the hare passing the tortoise in Zeno’s Paradox. True motion from one phase to the next produces it, because despite the paradox, we are not at right angles, nor do we operate in perfectly curved parabolas. Resh is also associated with the ego, as an enlarged Yod. In the context of our Aleph situation, we could see the Yod’s enlarge into two Resh’es (also representative of self identification and the vice of pride).
