Glemph
Note: This is a backdated entry due to my lack of an Internet connection.
While writing the above, due to sheer exhaustion, I was fading in and out. Instead of fighting it, I gave in to sleep and dreamed of the Glemph. Glemph is one of seven dragons, and is the most reluctant by far. Glemph is a noise you make when all seems lost. Glemph is the Glyph of the Immortal Individual’s Fear.
Right now, I guess I’m afraid of being alone. Here I am in this strange place, with just the cats to keep me company. Everyone is so absent lately… it gets worse after having to take shit from my mom (although she’s trying really hard to be nice, so I don’t say anything), and understandably so. The kids are pretty much happy if they get to go play somewhere cool. Today they went to my grandparents’ house which was nice. Afterwards they went with Glenda, and I felt sad because I feel like their lives are slipping past me, and I’m grappling with sand, unable to stop it from falling through my fingers even faster. Nate didn’t come this weekend, ’cause everything got fouled up by Miss Communication (bitch). I’ll probably get to see him this next week, so it won’t be a big deal. God Squad was very disheartening for me. It’s not that it’s a bad meeting now or anything. I do miss the honesty from previous times, as well as the willingness to just work a fourth step and show everyone how to do it. That really used to help me a lot. Lately I’ve really been feeling the weight of all these resentments, based on who people think I am, or what people think I know or do or say. Sad thing is that there are maybe 5 people out of everyone I know that have even a clue of what my game plan is. And typically I’d share it with a bum on the corner if he’s open enough to hear it (misspell: heart). I hate the fact that I’m forced to resort to vaguaries and obfuscations. And the rest who were gathered? Vanished. Scattered to the winds. The loneliness is overwhelming sometimes, when I consider everything I’ve had and then lost, when I think of the pain and suffering that others underwent while I was still trying to figure out how I could help. It’s much like showing up at the end of the movie, “Dunh-duh-dunh! The Cavalry has arrived!” only to discover that everyone is dead. Not only that, but the rest ran and are still being chased to the ends of the earth. The Circle of Light was massacred and corrupted into a Circle of Darkness. A Circle of Death with only dying in common. Quick or slow, choose your poison!
Where do I go from here? I have only dreams and omens as my guides. FI, one dream showed my mom unpacking (or packing) a closet, and afterwards Nikki came back around, which would fit in with another dream: The dream of the Highway. Were I a betting man, I would’ve bet that this weekend, Nate would have been here, and my mom probably wouldn’t have. She offered to take one load, which she did, but didn’t seem as interested in helping long term. Then she came over and got comfortable working with us, and it was actually fun to have her around. Sometimes it’s nice to have your parents around, to be able to get to know them, and to be able to have the support of your family in tough times. In the dream, my mom was doing her own thing, so it didn’t focus on her. I really do understand why. It’s not that she’s completely self-absorbed or anything, but she likes to feel useful and needed I think. As far as Nikki is concerned, I’m not going to prejudice myself, and would like to just see what happens. There is a lot of bad blood between us, but I’d like to think that we’re adults and can work such things out.
Right now I’m building a home. It’s not that my home wouldn’t be built if I didn’t do it. If I don’t leave my mark on this place, then others will, and it won’t really ever be my home. I still struggle with that: Home is not supposed to be just the place where I dump my shit.
Cantillation Marks
Note: This is a backdated entry due to my lack of an Internet connection.
Today I was listening to the radio, specifically one of those songs that has a catchy hook. The hook, towards the end of the song is repeated over and over again, with no bridges or other lines in the chorus. Finally at the end, there is a pause before the hook is repeated one last time. When I heard the pause, I had a flash of insight, in that sometimes even when we are on the right track, it takes some time to get results. There is a moment when the current velocity is perfectly balanced with the previous momentum, before a new pathway can be established. In the same way, even in death, that moment of (what Casteneda might term) impeccability, something akin to perfect harmony in action, cancels out all of the negative momentums of the past, and leaves behind an awesome image of potential and possible changes.
In that moment, I saw how a simple pause had altered my consciousness in a powerful way. I began to understand what the deeper meanings behind the cantillation marks could be.
Offline
Will be offline for a couple of days, as phone service has to be set up at the new apartment. Peace out, and if you get reeeally bored, have a quiz!
Master
You are the Master Samurai. You are putting
yourself above your Master. There is the Master
inside you. Master who reached perfection and
understood that he will be reaching it all his life.
You know everything, but you say that you
know nothing, you can do anything, but there
is no need to do anything. You are perfect.
::What kind of Samurai you are?::
brought to you by Quizilla
Subject: re: Mardi Gras
forces of nature. Find out about these engineering feats (as well big, red guy’s personal makeup artist.The NFL draft is underway borough and the majority of visitors spend most of their over your phone.very car out there has a muffler — it performs the human diseases ever — worldwide, it claims approximately 5 lives.
Random Quote of the Hour!
“Walk through the streets of this city and you’re bound to meet dragons, see epic struggles taking place and get a whiff of magic.”
— A gamer contends that New York City isn’t that different from fantastic virtual worlds.
The Hopeful Daughter, etc…
- So, unfortunately, this is what I was talking about the other day with the N.K. refugees article. I was kinda hoping that wouldn’t happen.
- And give my condolences to the Oracle of Omaha.
- On other fronts, in looking at the DeMause-ian Psychohistorical framework, I’ve noticed a couple of actual manifestations of the Hopeful Daughter.The “Hopeful Daughter” And The Psychogenic Cul-de-sac“Since for most of history mothers raise boys who then go off and hunt, farm, build things and fight wars rather than directly contributing much new to the psyche of the next generation, the course of evolution of the psyche has overwhelmingly been dependent upon the way mothers have treated their daughters, who become the next generation of mothers. Since early emotional relationships organize the entire range of human behavior, all cultural traits do not equally affect the evolution of the psyche-those that affect the daughter’s psyche represent the main narrow bottleneck through which all other cultural traits must pass. The study of the evolution of the psyche depends more on developing a maternal ecology than on studying variations in the physical environment.
The evolution of the psyche and culture has been crucially dependent upon turning the weak bonds between mother and daughter of apes and early humans34 into genuine love for daughters (and sons). This means that historical societies that create optimal conditions for improving the crucial mother-daughter relationship by surrounding the mother with support and love soon begin to show psychological innovation and cultural advances in the next generations-so that history begins to move in progressive new directions. In contrast, societies that cripple the mother-daughter emotional relationship experience psychogenic arrest and even psychogenic devolution. Only in modern times have fathers, too, begun to contribute to the evolutionary task of growing the young child’s mind.
Paralleling the term “hopeful monster” that biologists use to indicate speciating biological variations,35 the idea that the mother-daughter emotional relationship is the focal point of epigentic evolution and the main source of novelty in the psyche can be called the “hopeful daughter” concept. When mothers love and support particularly their daughters, a series of generations can develop new childrearing practices that grow completely new neural networks, hormonal systems and behavioral traits. If hopeful daughters are instead emotionally crippled by a society, a psychogenic cul-de-sac is created, generations of mothers cannot innovate, epigenetic arrest is experienced and meaningful cultural evolution ends.36 “
Now generally, psychohistory would illustrate the point through meme dispersal and public discourse, but I think this movement of consciousness would be better illustrated through education and proactive measures. For instance, The Hunger Project has been working in India and other impoverished nations to show that women need to be educated in order to maintain a certain level of health in a society.
In Bangladesh, flooding has killed hundreds of people. Relief programs are underway and under-informed: They distribute wheat, but the families there have no utensils to do anything with it. The Hunger Project looks to elect females who are (generally) more community oriented so that these things don’t happen again. More info here.
Also an upcoming seminar of THP is entitled: “The Girl Child: The Future Depends on Her.”
This basically is the gist of the current I’m seeing. While the DeMause-ians map out the Killer Mommy trend within Western Culture, we can clearly see the Hopeful Daughter rising up from out of the recesses of the collective mind.
………………………………………………………………………..
“And now for something completely different.”
– Monty Python’s Flying Circus
QUIZ!!!
Category XI – The
Quidnunc
Though you don’t fit in, and your social graces are
sometimes lacking, people like you because you
have all the information. Now, who won the
Nobel Peace Prize in 1952?
What Type of Social Entity are You?
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Posted by brian on Wed July 28, 07:04 PM
from the have fun hitting reload page dept.
Definitely a must have. The new Palm Xire 71 will be using technology gleaned from research on giant robots. This should put the Palm Xire 71 at the top of the heap, and have their competitors scrambling to catch up. It’s sure to be the hot new gizmo for all the mobile business executives who need help with farting silently.
Posted by brian on Wed July 28, 07:07 PM
from the have fun hitting reload page dept.
Angel writes “The new trailer for the upcoming Plan 9 from Outer Space sequel has been released. This time starring Darl McBride and John Ashcroft. Let’s hope in this one that Darl McBride can take the bad guys and turn them into yogurt. Go grab it before it gets Slashdotted.”
Posted by brian on Wed July 28, 07:10 PM
from the have fun hitting reload page dept.
There’s an interesting article over at CNET where George Bush gives us some background information on three-legged dogs. I didn’t know that three-legged dogs had anything to do with shooting file sharers, but according to George Bush it does. It’s an interesting read, and sure to start a discussion on the practicality of three-legged dogs.
This and other zaniness generated by The Slashdot Story Generator!
Got the apartment. Will be able to start moving in on Friday. Relatives are popping out of the woodwork to help us move (YAY Relatives!). Much relief is afforded by this. Oh yeah, and Paul Curtis is da bomb for overpaying me for a computer job, just so he could help out. You rock, Paul.
A VUE from the top
Hmmm… this would be an interesting factor to add in with the Falls mythos.
[smirk]
Hear Me O’ Ancient Yog-Sothoth…!!!
****
Sp4M of Profundity 1:
Your memories are who you are, ayrkain. Make good ones.
****
[/smirk]
[too sad for words]
mixed feelings
I can’t help but have mixed feelings about this article. On one hand, I always feel glad to hear that people are being freed from oppression and starvation. On the other, well… I’m hoping that it doesn’t enflame the situation, which seems fairly tenuous as it is.
